Never argue with a woman:
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides
to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to
take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her
book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the
woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a
book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a
Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not
fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know
you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the
woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden. 'That's
true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any
moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.
MORAL: Never argue with a
woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children and
then all mankind was made.'
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the
human race evolved.'
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom, how is it
possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad
said they developed from monkeys?'
The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it's very simple: I told you about
my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'
When a woman got married she put a shoebox in the closet and told her husband not to open it. After over 50 years of marriage she was dying and told him to open the box.
When he opened it there were 2 doilies and $85,000.00.
He ask why this was in the box. She replied when I got married my mother told me to crochet a doily every time I got mad at you.
He smile thinking she was only mad twice and asked what the $85,000.00 was.
She replied that's the money from selling the doilies.
SIGNS
Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE FIRST FLOOR
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING.(PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Jokes, Noukat 
,I would buy a map of Morocco and put it on the wall in my house. Then when ever I travelled to Morocco I would put a pin in the places I'd been.
Linear Mode
